Guest Column Life and Imperfection
Like a frog caught by a stone thoughtlessly thrown by people, struggling on the brink of death, let us once consider whether our careless words or unintended actions have wounded others, and open a hopeful tomorrow. As the saying goes, become a person who ripens with age rather than one who merely grows old—let us live positively and vibrantly, with a life free of regret. Humans always live with longing and regret. At the moment of death, people say they regret most, thinking, "I should not have lived that way."
Where can we find a life without longing or regret, and where is there a tree that does not face wind and rain, nor endure blizzards? Yet since life has exemplary answers but no absolute answers, it seems that contradiction, conflict, and regret are inevitable.
To live without regret, if we see only good things, think only good thoughts, hold a good heart, cherish consideration for others, and do not greedily desire too many things, then our minds will find peace and regrets will diminish.
Dosan Ahn Chang-ho taught that angular stones and round stones each have their own use, and it is not right to criticize others simply because their thoughts differ from ours. A Jewish proverb also advises us to live as if today were both the first and last day of your life.
When things go wrong, many people seek to place blame on others. When a child causes problems at school, parents try to find fault with the teacher or other children. While people pursue others for their mistakes, they hope to have their own mistakes understood generously.
Young men and women marry out of mutual love, yet divorces are rapidly increasing—this is because they act self-centeredly rather than with compromise and consideration. In today's world, self-love is excessively strong. If we liken life to a dining table with various side dishes including bitter flavors, modern people love sweet side dishes too much.
As the saying goes, high mountains have deep valleys; behind the convenience brought by materialism lie many side effects. While the level of knowledge has risen, common sense and moral judgment are severely lacking, and human society is overshadowed by the dark specter of dehumanization.
Everyone possesses not only strengths but also weaknesses and flaws. Those who pursue perfection most fear having their weaknesses or flaws revealed. Yet the absence of weaknesses or flaws can be said to mean a lack of human appeal. This is evident in the paradox that human greatness lies in imperfection.
While the degree varies from person to person, everyone has pretense and vulnerabilities. Pretense is when someone without ability acts as if they possess it, while vulnerability refers to the shortcomings a person naturally carries. Pretense means not knowing one's own insufficiency, but vulnerability means recognizing one's own lack. If we do not view our vulnerabilities with shame but understand them well, they can become a means to form relationships with others. A person who is perfect in all things easily becomes the target of envy and attack from others, but when one reveals a certain degree of vulnerability, people feel no burden and approach comfortably.
Interpersonal relationships resemble spring mechanics. The more one tries to assume superiority over the other, the stronger the resistance; the more one pursues self-interest, the more distant the relationship becomes.
Even beauties have flaws. In fact, when flaws harmonize well with beauty, they appear more beautiful. Leonardo da Vinci's world-renowned masterpiece, the Mona Lisa, is not a beauty without eyebrows, is it?
When we acknowledge our flaws, paradoxically we gain much. To allow others to enter into us, we must not close the door that is our flaws, but keep it somewhat open.